The Only Life I Could Save

Nor was I going to let a way to make a living get in the way of me actualizing it. My inner meter for “soul-sucking” was a highly sensitive instrument. I feel so much clearer and back on track with things. I came to Sadat at a time of very low self esteem, feeling depressed and unworthy. Sadat’s non-judgemental, positive and compassionate presence quickly helped me to build trust and dig deep into my issues.

Fascinating as both parties were very strong and, while Brand ‘won’ he also ended up having words put in his mouth (revolution!) by Paxman. And also relieved to know it is not just me with that reaction. I don’t know how I avoided knowing about this ‘classic’ until so recently, but there you go.

And within a week I started to feel amazing. It’s been two weeks and I have the odd moment where I don’t feel the brain fog I have had for the last decade. A week ago I started feeling less depressed and I’ve only felt anxiety once, after some frustrating news.

A couple of days ago I got my first knitting request in a while. People often accept my gifts of knitted goods and sometimes even wear them around me but this is the first time someone actually asked for something. With an OverDrive account, you can save your favorite libraries for at-a-glance information about availability. Find out moreabout OverDrive accounts. I wasn’t letting my dream get away from me.

I feel held back, and like I have to hide. I feel like I am changing and he won’t move with me. He is supportive in his way but the odd comment reveals how he feels about my changes, my therapy, my anxiety and depression. Those hurt enough to push me into hiding.

Best Poems

Instead, we lead little, safe, mild mannered lives that don’t touch near that livewire edge of fear. On the day I delete my Facebook account in order to halt my addiction to what other peopl are saying and reporting, advising and telling, I discover this perfect-for-me poem. Your comment reminds me of a comment Seamus Heaney once made about sonnets, something along the lines of them being about age and sex and death and the ‘dance within yourself’. I admit to not getting on with it at all, putting it down in the bookshop in a huff. This is a classic poem with such an enduring message.

The Journey is a poem of transformation. It speaks of the moment when you dare. When you dare to listen to your own truth and set sail into a new life. And then I thought that for over a year now I’ve been working solidly on my sexual healing but I’ve never taken the first step in the physical exercises to become comfortable with my body, etc. And the reason I’m too scared to take that first step is I’m expecting some change from him, and I’m holding my own change to ransom. I’ve been holding myself back and blaming him.

I gave this book 5/5 not for the technical accuracy (I haven’t personally checked that) but for the impact on my life. I have recommended it to friends and family but I refuse to give them my copy because I would like to go back and be scared again and again through my life. I begin with a much dreaded digital declutter.

Time For A Book Review: why We Sleep

I’m pleased you caught up with the Paxman pieces. Leaving aside Brands branding of himself, the curious tone of derision, in both their voices, for each other, is never far from the surface. Oh – and i saw the recent Russell Brand interview and saw how he absolutely refused to capitulate to the grilling from Paxman, while simultaneously playing with Paxman’s preconceptions of him.

Great to see it on your list, Anthony. I also love Oliver’s book length poem ‘The Leaf and the Cloud’, a hymn to nature and writing. I loved Malcolm’s telling of the story of Russell Brand grilling on Newsnight,in the wake of the fallout from his prank call, with Jonathan Ross, to Andrew Sachs.

I never saw the programme in question but feel as though I have. Brand stated that there are two Russell Brands, the one people go to see and hear, expecting something miraculous, and the idiot who makes prank phone calls. He confessed to making the same mistake himself, thinking he was phoning up Manuel from Fawlty Towers, not somebody’s grandfather. For seven long years I struggled to take control, to reach in and pull Ben out of addiction’s clutches, believing that it was within my power to save him and alter the trajectory of his life.

I have shared your feeling about Mary Oliver actually – with a couple of exceptions. But this poem, which somehow I have never met before — quite something! I read it aloud to my partner and when I got two thirds of the way through burst into tears. It is also this mind I was praised for that I try to be. I deny my body of sensation, pleasure, acknowledgment and it is not there; it is not a part of me any more than is absolutely necessary to survive . I allow my soul nourishment largely from the point of view that it is beneficial to my mind.

Her books have been published in 16 languages. Ketcham has led treatment and recovery efforts at the Walla Walla Juvenile Justice Center, and in 2009 she founded Trilogy Recovery Community. It is a poem in which you might catch a reflection of your own story. It invites you to find yourself and your own experience at its centre–the experience of a kind of knowing.

“This book is not about Ben and his addiction journey, nor is it about the ‘demon’ that I lived with in my mind for all those years,” she writes. “This book is about the Big Know-It-All Who Realizes She Doesn’t Know a Damn Thing. Except this one daunting truth—the only life I can save is my own.” I didn’t do the exercises from any of the books tonight but I did allow myself to go with what I’m comfortable with and sat with it in mindfulness. Noticing I tense up my stomache and withhold feeling pleasure, learning to relax my stomache, let go of negative thoughts and acknowledge all these feelings that showed up as I did.